Types of Child Abuse and Neglect (CAN) Signs and Symptoms of CAN Effects of CAN Risk Factors Featured Articles on Parenting
We all know that parenting is a challenging job. To continuously give of your time and energy to a little person with so many needs can drain the resources of even the deepest well of love. When your own well is dry, you cannot give to another person. That is why you must take care of yourself in order to nurture your child.
Prevention (Before you lose your temper)
Get a "Parent Buddy." This is a trusted adult who understands the stresses of parenthood. Having a "Parent Buddy" is a necessity. Find someone before the stresses of parenthood build. Find someone that will LISTEN to you and be there for you no matter what. Most importantly, your "Parent Buddy" is someone who will come and relieve you of childcare if you just ask. They will take care of your child safely for an hour or a day when you need them; they will do so with unconditional love and support. AND, you will do the same for them, if necessary.
- Change your routine; break up work with rest or play
- Surround yourself with music, poetry, and pleasant scents: things that lift your spirit
- Sing, dance to a favorite video, shoot some hoops or enjoy other physical activity with your children
- Avoid people and situations that are not helpful
- Allow positive thoughts to enter in
- Breathe in cool, calming air; breath out hot, stressful air
When your child is safely napping or in school, it's your time:
- Take this opportunity to nurture yourself!
- Visualize a calming place for you: the beach, the mountains, a green forest trail
- Write in your journal
- E-mail a friend
- Draw, paint, create with clay
Intervention (When you are about to lose your temper)
Every person who has taken care of a child recognizes that there are times when adults lose their patience, their sense of humor, their loving attitude, and even their temper. Taking a parent's Time Out is for those times:
1. Get your Parent Buddy, or your child's other parent, grandparent, aunt or uncle, godparent, or other trusted adults to provide overnight respite care for your child either at your home or theirs.
2. Get your spouse or other trusted relative in the home to take night call, so you can get a full night's sleep. Or, get them to cover for you for 1-2 hours while you take a warm bubble bath, phone a friend, or take a brisk walk. (It is not recommended that you drive a vehicle when you are angry)
3. When you think you just cannot take it anymore and you may snap and say or do something you will regret later, make sure your child is in a safe place (put baby in a crib or playpen). Next, walk into another room; count to 10 or 30 or 100 until you are back in control. Then, go back to reassure your child that he/she is still loved and safe. |
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